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A Little Pop Quiz for Parents

Joseph Capellhttp://slowjoe40.com
Joe Capell is a husband and the father of four children. When not herding the kids or working, he enjoys writing funny-ish things for the amusement of others. He’s also fond of naps and eating ice cream with his wife.

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Parenting is not easy. There is no handbook. There is no guide. You just have to figure things out as you go. How are you doing at it? 

Here’s a little quiz to assess how things are going.

1. Yelling the words, “Stop yelling!” at your children in order to get them to stop yelling is an example of: A. irony 

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B. hypocrisy 

C. stupidity 

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D. necessity. 

2. When was the moment you realized you were the adult who needed to take care of things? 

A. At the courthouse, signing your marriage certificate.

B. When the nurse first handed you your newborn baby. 

C. The seventh poopy diaper.

D. That time, at 2:35 a.m., when you walked into the room to find your child and the child’s bed covered in vomit and/or poop, and no one else was there to clean it up.

3. How much time typically passes between the moment you tell your children to go to bed and when they are actually in bed and stay there? 

A. 2 minutes.

B. 5 minutes.

C. 37 minutes.

D. Eternity. 

4. According to your children, which of the following are finger foods?

A. Hot dogs

B. Chicken nuggets

C. Macaroni and cheese

D. Applesauce

E. All of the above.

5. What is the first thing you think when you realize you haven’t heard anything from your child for 30 consecutive minutes?

A. Oh good, he must have put himself down for a nap!

B. What has he gotten into?

C. I don’t care what he’s doing, I’m going to enjoy the quiet time.

D. Where are my car keys?

6. What is your child most likely to remember?

A. To turn in her homework.

B. That time you took her to the zoo.

C. To brush her teeth without being asked.

D. That one time when you swore at another driver.

7. If your child finds your phone, what is he most likely to do?

A. Leave it alone.

B. Bring it to you.

C. Use it to play video games until you take it back.

D. Lock you out of it so you can’t use it for at least two hours.

8. How many times in a row can your child watch the same episode of Doc McStuffins before she gets tired of it?

A. 3

B. 7

C. 14

D. Possibly infinity.

9. Which of the following statements about your children is true?

A. They drive me crazy.

B. They make me question my sanity.

C. They make me smile.

D. I love them very much.

E. All of the above. (Capell is a Serve Daily contributor.)

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Joseph Capellhttp://slowjoe40.com
Joe Capell is a husband and the father of four children. When not herding the kids or working, he enjoys writing funny-ish things for the amusement of others. He’s also fond of naps and eating ice cream with his wife.

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