Top Ten Thanksgiving Foods

Food is an important part of almost all the holidays we celebrate (except for President’s Day, where nothing is as important as a good sale at the furniture store). As we enter the most foodiest holiday of them all, here is a countdown of my top ten Thanksgiving foods:

10. Fruit salad: Fruits are woefully underrepresented on the Thanksgiving Day table, but a good fruit salad will help balance the meal. This is especially the case if the fruit includes Jell-o, whip cream, and/or sour cream to keep it all together, because this is Thanksgiving, and nothing should be too healthy.

9. Mashed potatoes: It may be sacrilege to rank potatoes so low, but the problem is, they’re so filling that they might not leave enough room for everything else.

8. Sweet potatoes (with marshmallow topping): I’ll leave the debate on the difference between sweet potatoes and yams for another day. Just don’t be the guy who skims all the marshmallows off of the top. (Nobody likes him.)

7. Green bean casserole: I’ve always said that the best way to eat vegetables is in some gloopy soup mix covered with onion rings and cheese!

6. Turkey: Turkey is the most overrated food on the Thanksgiving Day table, in my opinion. It is the food most associated with Thanksgiving, but it’s also the most difficult thing to cook and to prepare. (I’ve never had to wait for someone to “carve” the green bean casserole).

5. Cranberry sauce: Do you like your cranberry sauce to have actual berries, or shaped like the can? (Personally, I’m a “can cran” fan.) 

4. Rolls: Of course, rolls are better when they’re hot and homemade, but even cold, store-bought rolls are pretty essential. Smother them in butter and maybe some jam, and they really complete the meal. Furthermore, rolls are the MVP of the leftover meal, stuffed with a little bit of turkey for a quick, cold sammich!

3. Stuffing: Yeah, some may call this “dressing,” but I don’t get it. Dressing is something you put on top of a salad to “dress” it up, and not something you stuff a turkey with to suck all the juices out. 

There are many kinds of stuffing, from in the bird, to made from scratch, to Stove Top. All of it is good! (Although Grandma’s was the best.) 

2. Gravy: Ah, gravy! Gravy is groovy! A good gravy can make so many of the other things on this list taste so much better. Just slather it on, and bland mashed potatoes become flavorful, dry turkey becomes moist, and stuffing becomes more delectable. You can even dip your rolls in it. Gravy is the (figurative) glue that holds the whole meal together! (Just don’t try to drink it as your beverage.)

1. Pie” You’re not surprised to find pie at the top of the list, are you? Mmmm…pie!!!

So, this Thanksgiving be sure to be thankful for all of your blessings…and save some room for pie!

Joseph Capell
Joseph Capell
Joe Capell is a husband and the father of four children. When not herding the kids or working, he enjoys writing funny-ish things for the amusement of others. He’s also fond of naps and eating ice cream with his wife.

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