They’ve Got My Number

I have a name, but no one seems to care.

When I go to do taxes, they want my Social Security number. When I go to purchase something online, they want my credit card number. When they ask for my credit card number, they also want that super-secret three-digit security code number that’s on the back of my credit card. 

When I try to pay for fuel with my credit card, they want my zip code.

When I try to get a prescription, they want my date of birth. When I try to refill a prescription, they want my prescription number. When I try to get a subscription, they want my address. When I try to fill out my address, they want my apartment number even if I don’t live in an apartment.

When I try to buy something at some stores, they want my phone number. When I try to buy anything at any store, they need to scan the barcode number. 

When I was a truck driver and got called in to do a random drug test, they wanted my driver’s license number. 

When I place my order for a burger at Carl’s Jr. they want me to take a big, plastic number, place it on my table, so they will know where to bring my food when it is ready. 

When I try to get money from the bank, they want my PIN number. When I try to put money into the bank, they want my account number. When I try to register my car, they want the VIN number.

When I buy a new appliance they want me to register it by sending them the serial number. When I go to look at the instruction manual for my new appliance, I need to know the model number.

When I want to win the lottery they ask for my lucky numbers, caveat being that  my lucky numbers aren’t actually lucky unless they happen to be the same as their lucky numbers.

When I want to change the channel on the television, I enter the channel number. When I want to watch something different, the “Shows You Might Like” section usually recommends the show NUMB3RS.

I guess you could say that the way numbers impact us is innumerable.

Joseph Capell
Joseph Capell
Joe Capell is a husband and the father of four children. When not herding the kids or working, he enjoys writing funny-ish things for the amusement of others. He’s also fond of naps and eating ice cream with his wife.

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