3 Ways Kids React to the Vacuum

I vacuum at least twice a year, whether I need to or not. You might say that I’m an experienced vacuumer. (Spellcheck doesn’t think “vacuumer” is a word. Spellcheck is uncorrect.)

I also am a father of four, so I know everything there is to know about kids. (Ha!) So, based on my expertise with children and my experience as a vacuumer, I can definitely tell you about: The 3 Different Ways Kids React to Vacuuming!

1. The Runaway Runawayer: Some kids leave the room as soon as you fire up the vacuum. They run away. They hide. They want to be as far away from that vacuum as possible. It might be because they hate the noise. It might be because they are afraid of getting sucked up into the vacuum. Or, it might be because they don’t want you to ask them to help. Whatever the reason, the moment the vacuum is turned on, they’re gone. (And so are the cats.

2. The Feet-Holder-Upper: These kids will pretend they don’t care if you are vacuuming–until you get that vacuum within their personal comfort zone. That’s when they raise their feet in the air. They try to look nonchalant, but it’s hard to look casual with your feet unnaturally hanging eighteen inches mid-air. 

Why do these kids put their feet in the air? Maybe they’re afraid you will suck them into the vacuum. Maybe they think they’re being helpful by getting out of your way. Maybe they’re doing some weird leg-lifting exercise. Whatever the reason, be sure to take your time–just to see how long they can keep their feet up. They’ll thank you later. (Probably not.)

3. The Unwanted Helper: Some kids will see you vacuuming and think, “Hey, that looks like fun! I want to do that.” These kids will want to “help” you by taking over the vacuuming for you. This sounds like a good thing, right? Who wouldn’t want their kids to do all the vacuuming for them? Well, the problem is that this category is usually reserved for kids too young to actually be effective vacuumers. These are toddlers whose “help” is actually a huge hindrance, turning a five-minute job into a twenty-minute battle.

You might think, “If I let them help me now, they’ll soon be able to do it themselves, leaving me more time to sip exotic drinks with umbrellas in them.” That’s a nice thought, but the problem is that by the time the child is actually old enough to properly work the vacuum, they’ll no longer show any interest whatsoever in helping with this particular chore. They’ll only “help” you when their “help” is of no help at all.

Joseph Capell
Joseph Capellhttp://slowjoe40.com
Joe Capell is a husband and the father of four children. When not herding the kids or working, he enjoys writing funny-ish things for the amusement of others. He’s also fond of naps and eating ice cream with his wife.

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