When you become a parent, your mind is open to an unforeseen invasion of children’s songs. These are not songs you seek out. You don’t listen to them on purpose. You don’t buy these songs. You don’t hear them on the radio.
But, they’re EVERYWHERE! They emanate from children’s toys and television programs. These songs are insidious mind worms that invade your skull, dig in, and set up permanent residence.
There is no escape!
9. Five Little Monkeys Jumping On the Bed–This is a cheerful little ditty about five monkeys who jump on a bed until, one by one, they fall and crack their heads open. Fun!
8. Rock-a-bye Baby–Let me get this straight–the cradle is in the top of the tree, and if there’s any little breeze it will crash to the ground with a baby in it? Between this and those bed-jumping monkeys, there’s an awful lot of head injuries going on here..
7. Row, Row, Row Your Boat–Row that boat gently. Row that boat merrily. (But hey, at least no one cracked their head open!)
6. B-I-N-G-O–Some farmer had a dog named Bingo, and apparently it’s very important to the farmer that everyone knows how to spell the dog’s name.
5. Old McDonald Had a Farm–Of course, it’s possible that the farmer kept spelling out his dog’s name (B-I-N-G-O) because his friend McDonald kept trying to spell it “E-I-E-I-O.”
4. The Itsy-Bitsy Spider–Those dad-gummed spiders sure are tenacious, aren’t they? It’s true, and it doesn’t matter if they are itsy-bitsy, eensy-weensy, teensy-weensy, incy-wincy, or hairy-scary.
3. If You’re Happy and You Know It–Clap your hands! Stomp your feet! Shout hooray! And if no one believes you, at least your face will surely show it.
2. Pop Goes the Weasel–If you asked most people who would win a fight between a monkey and a weasel, the vast majority would probably pick the monkey. The weasel is always getting underestimated, but just when you think you can count him out…Pop!!!
1. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star/The Alphabet Song–Most people don’t even realize that “Twinkle, Twinkle” and “The Alphabet Song” use the same tune. This song is inescapable.
Seriously! Any time you go out at night those stars are going to twinkle, and someone’s going to sing about them.
And the alphabet? It’s everywhere!!! Heck, if you ask an adult, “What’s the letter before Q?” they’ll probably sing this song in their head to get the answer.