Why? Because We Have Kids

Why are there footprints on our wall? Because we have kids.

Why do I have to pick up sidewalk chalk from the middle of our yard every time I mow the lawn? Because we have kids.

Why do I spend approximately four hours and twenty-seven minutes each day looking for a missing shoe? Because we have kids.

Why do I get up early to pack school lunches, only to see 63% of the content of those lunches in the garbage after school because, “I forgot to eat,” or “I wasn’t very hungry?” Because we have kids.

Why do I occasionally find random piles of coughed-up hairballs on the floor? Because we have cats. (Can’t blame the kids for that one.)

Why, as I’m leaving the house, are the lights on in the basement, the bathroom, and the bedroom, even though two minutes earlier I walked through the entire house turning off all of the lights? Because we have kids.

Why is there a frisbee on our roof? Because we have kids.

Why do I keep finding spoons and forks in the garbage can? Because we have kids.

Why do I spend so many of my waking hours driving people places to drop them off, then going to pick them up, as if I am a chauffeur? Because we have kids.

Why am I stepping on Legos? Because we have kids.

Why do I know all of the words to the song “We Don’t Talk About Bruno,” even though I’ve never seen the movie the song comes from? Because we have kids.

Why are there french fries stuffed between the seats in our mini-van? Because we have kids.

Wait…why am I driving a mini-van? Because we have kids.

Why do we have a collection of mis-matched gloves and mittens? And why is the size of that collection only surpassed by our collection of mis-matched socks? Because we have kids.

Why are there candy wrappers in the lint trap of our dryer? Because we have kids.

Why are the front arms of our couch all ripped and shredded? Because we have cats. (Not everything is the kids’ fault.)

Why do I know the difference between “Paw Patrol” and “Papa Troll?” Because we have kids.

Why do we know the names of all the children in our neighborhood, but only know the adults as “Jimmy’s mom” or “Jenny’s dad?” Because we have kids.

Why is there glitter on our kitchen table? Because we have kids.

Why does thinking about all of these “annoying” things that I’ve just listed bring a smile to my face? Because we have kids. And we wouldn’t want it any other way!

Joseph Capell
Joseph Capellhttp://slowjoe40.com
Joe Capell is a husband and the father of four children. When not herding the kids or working, he enjoys writing funny-ish things for the amusement of others. He’s also fond of naps and eating ice cream with his wife.

Get Our Newsletter!

Submit News

Visit our Forms to submit a recipe, obituary, contact us, or submit news. 

Related news

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here