We Are Not a Perfect Family

perfect family
We have a perfect family. We have four cute kids. They are very well-behaved. They get good grades on their report cards. They are quiet and polite in church. They are always smiling and happy. They get along with others. They get along with each other. They do what they're told and say "please" and "thank you" at the...

Parents Aren’t Allowed to Take Sick Days

sick days
By Joe Capell Parents aren't allowed to have sick days. Parents can't just call in and say, "Sorry, I'm not feeling well so I'm not going to be able to parent today." You can't say, "Sorry kids, I'm taking the day off so you'll just have to take care of yourselves." And you certainly can't say, "Change your own diaper, you...

8 things NOT to get your sweetheart for Valentine’s Day

sweetheart
By Joe Capell Valentine's Day! It's an important day for anyone in a relationship. If you botch Valentine's Day for your sweetheart, the month of February, which is already cold and miserable, will become even more cold and miserable. People ask me all the time, "What should I get my wife and/or girlfriend for Valentine's Day?" (That's a lie. No one...

Let’s Give the Nod to Eggnog!

By Joe Capell There are two kinds of people: those who love eggnog, and those who are wrong. What exactly is eggnog, anyway? Is it milk? Is it eggs? Is it a milkshake? Is it dessert? Is it a drink? Is it a way of life? I really don't know, and I really don't care. What I DO know is that...

In Defense of Pineapple On Pizza

pineapple on pizza
Pizza is delicious! It's one thing almost everyone can agree on. It's the do-it-all meal featuring bread, sauce, cheese, meat (usually), veggies (sometimes), and even fruit (occasionally.) Yes, I said "fruit." You see, there is a wide variety of foodstuffs that you put on a pizza, and most of those things are accepted by everyone. You may not like a...

Daddy, Are You a Pirate?

Joe Capell
It really should go without saying, but I'm going to say it anyway: Parents shouldn't use curse words in front of their children. It's basic common sense. If you don't want your kids to swear like sailors, you probably shouldn't swear when you're around them. (You probably shouldn't swear even when you're not around them, but that's a topic for...

How did we survive without our phones?

without our phones
By Joe Capell The other day I did something unbelievably amazing. I wandered into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet before I realized: I DIDN'T HAVE MY PHONE WITH ME! Yes, that's right, I actually went to the bathroom WITHOUT MY PHONE! I know, it's incredible, isn't it? Those may have been the longest two minutes of my life....

Cash or Credit Card?

cash
By Joe Capell I like cash. Don't we all? (And I'm not talking about Johnny Cash. Although I can't help but sing along anytime I hear "Ring of Fire.") I like the look and feel of dollar bills in my wallet. (There's not much in there right now.) There's something very gratifying about paying for something with a crisp (or...

Splash pads or sprinklers?

sprinklers
These kids today are so spoiled. Back in my day, if it was hot, do you know what we could do? Sweat. We could sweat. Maybe we could find some shade under a tree so we could sweat a little less. Or, if we were really lucky we might talk Mom into letting us drag a hose out onto...

The Funny-ish Files: These Are My Problems….

my problems
These are my problems: The ice-maker on the refrigerator spat out an extra ice cube when I wasn't looking, so there was a cold, wet spot on the kitchen floor that I stepped in with my bare feet. There's a guy driving in the fast lane going only three miles an hour over the speed limit, so I have to get...