Summer is here! That means it’s time to take the kids to the park. And that means you’re going to run into THOSE kids on the playground. Which kids? These:
1. The Kid Who Goes Up the Slide the Wrong Way. This kid insists on climbing up the slide while other kids are trying to slide down it. (And gets mad at the kids who are coming down.)
2. The Kid Who Stands At the Top of the Slide, But Won’t Go Down. This kid climbs to the top of the slide, but is too afraid to go down. Or maybe he just likes the view from the top of the slide. Either way, the line of kids forming behind him is getting a little restless.
3. The Kid Who Throws Wood Chips Everywhere. Many playgrounds have wood chips covering the ground beneath them. Some kids just can’t resist the wood chips. They’ll pile them on the slide. They’ll put them on the swings. They’ll throw them at other kids. They’ll attempt to eat them. Hooray for wood chips!
4. The Kid Who Won’t Get Off the Slide. This kid will go down the slide…then won’t leave. They’ll sit at the bottom slide, as if they own it, until the next kid (or two or three) come down the slide and slam into them.
5. The Kid Who Wanders In Front of the Swings as Someone Else Is Swinging. This kid is totally oblivious to his surroundings and walks in front of (or behind) the swings when someone else is swinging. This kid is shocked when the physical laws of nature (and a kid in a swing) come crashing into them, knocking them to the ground.
6. The Kid Who Crowds In Front of Other Kids. Is there a line for the slide? No matter–this kid will just shove his way to the front. He’s more important than everyone else, and he is not going to wait.
7. The Kid Who Cries. This kid might be afraid of the swing. He might think the slide is too tall or too fast. He might not like it when another kid touches him. He might have seen a bug. He might have pooped his pants. Or maybe he’s crying because that’s just what he does.
Bonus #8. The Adult Who Thinks He’s Still a Kid. It’s great that you’re still young at heart, but just because you can fit down the slide doesn’t mean you should be sliding. Also, that swing wasn’t designed for a 280-pound adult!
For more funny-ish stuff, go to slowjoe40.com.